It is important for me to say that this is in no way an attack or a rebuttal. We are all on the path and we shall seek and find our own answers in our own way. This is my way. If this resonates with you and brightens your path, blessings. It is my deepest joy and honor. If it does not, blessings to you as well, may you find the answers you seek. As in all aspects of life there is no “one-size-fits-all.” We must all strive to hold a big enough container so we can all fit in, be ourselves and lead authentic lives walking this path together.
September 16th, I went into meditation. I was in great pain, both physically and emotionally and was seeking stillness. I had just read a post from Marianne Williamson on Facebook regarding the Golden Key of unconditional love that we all have to unlock the door that keeps us from knowing ourselves/God. As I sat in meditation I saw myself being tossed about in the etheric in what looked like a snow globe. Within the snow globe with me instead of snow were all the emotions and feelings of wounding that I have ever experienced in this world. Tossing me back and forth, spinning me around, I was dizzy and overwhelmed. All of the issues that I had addressed physically were now being presented energetically, all at the same time. Breathe. I grounded and expanded my energy field in order to hold a bigger container for all of it. As I did this the image of the Golden Key came into my mind. I envisioned myself sitting up in the snow globe and I grasped the key in my right hand. Holding it, I looked around for a door of any sort but saw nothing but glass and the space beyond.
“Where do I put it?” I asked. “Your heart.” Was the response.
Okay. I sank the golden key into my heart and waited in stillness. The tumultuous energy in the snow globe stilled as my wounded parts gathered around me. “I open to love” I whisper. My parts came closer. “I open to love and I invite all of you back into my heart.” I whispered again. As I waited in stillness I felt a warmth in my heart and tears began pouring from my eyes.
This was not from any of my wounded parts returning to my heart but from remembrance. I, for the first time, met, truly met my ego. This is what I learned.
I am going to make a statement that may not be popular… I don’t believe that our ego is bad even when it is imbalanced. I believe our ego to be our greatest ally, our champion, our protector. It is a part of us which holds so much love for us; the part of us that holds the golden key of remembrance, remembrance that we are God. But wait… How can this part that judges and condemns and sabotages be the part that remembers that we are God? God does not judge, condemn or sabotage! No, that is truth. God the Divine Consciousness does not but neither does the ego. Ego is the part of our self that will always seek what is in our best interest. It is our mind which interprets the information and as it does the information gets filtered through our wounding, our conditioning. Example: we see someone walking in the store and they are beautiful and thin and confident and we hear the judge arising in our minds which we interpret as “oh, she thinks she’s so great” or some other criticism when in reality the ego is calling our attention to her not because she holds what we do not but because we believe she holds what we do not.
Our ego wants us to see our hidden wounded part and bring her into the light so she can be healed.
The ego also wants us to see that we hold all of that and more. Not in a “I’m better than you” sort of way but in a “you are all God, silly what’s greater than that?” Sort of way.
In that situation if we are able to filter past our wounded interpretation of the message to its core we can achieve a state of peace and stillness.
Until we can expand our consciousness and fully reconnect with our Divinity, our 3-D ego will hold it for us. It will hold our greatness and are infinite capacity for love and compassion within its core until we are ready to embrace it. And it will work tirelessly on our behalf to bring us back into a loving relationship with ourselves.
It is up to us to get it. To see that by fighting against our ego we are pushing away the very piece(peace) that we seek. Ironic, huh?
When ego arises within you take a breath and still. Look into the mirror that ego holds up for you and see the part that is crying out for healing. Do not focus on your minds’ interpretation, stay with the feelings that arise around it, they will lead you to your exiled part and to your truth.
There is always a reason for ego to speak. Shushing its voice is akin to turning your face away from the Light, the mirror: Denial. This is one of those 3-D paradoxes, we spend our whole lives in search of something and it is there, encased in what we hold the most disdain for. Something to think about…
In Love and Light.