This post is a continuation of my last post “Musings on the Ego.” For context, I suggest you read it first. Blessings!
As many of you may know I began an initiation a month ago which included an acute Lyme Disease infection. The experience has been intense and surreal to say the least.
However, I came to understand some very important things about myself for which I am infinitely grateful. As the initiation began I was told by Spirit that I had to embrace the Divine Masculine. This little whisper in my ear, for some reason, sent me reeling. I did not stop to hear the entire message which was I was to embrace the Divine Masculine not embody the Divine Masculine. I had been living my life and directing my process in a very pointed agenda-driven way. I had to get through it, all of it…NOW. It was not about the process and healing solely for the love of self but as a means to an end. I still held on to the illusion of “being done.”
Once I realized this I spent the entire initiation floating in the ocean of the Divine Feminine. Allowing, releasing and holding a space of love and gratitude for the self. Part of this shift in my energy involved how I treated myself and how I treated the Lyme.
I do not take medication lightly. I am very careful with what I put into my body as I am extremely sensitive to chemicals, additives and toxins whether in food or drugs. My body simply does not like them and does not know how to handle them. So from the beginning, I was set against taking the antibiotics. My body has never handled antibiotics well. But then the pain set in and I consulted with my wonderful healer Beth and I decided that it was the most loving choice to take antibiotics. A bit of a turn for me realizing that not taking the antibiotic was actually more fear-based than taking it, especially once Beth taught me how to make it a “smart drug.” So after 10 days of “Doxy” and various other herbal supplements to support my body I began to feel relatively normal again.
But there was something new that was definitely not normal for me. Body odor. I am a person who only has to take a shower once a week, I don’t have to wash my hair. I’m not bragging but I just don’t generally stink. I can use a little dab of coconut oil on my armpits and that is good for days. So, all of a sudden, I stink and it’s a bit unnerving. My husbands conclusion, which I agreed with, was that I was detoxing and that would run its course. But it persisted. I became a daily sometimes twice-daily bather and quite honestly it annoyed me. I then remembered that this, too, was a part of the process and that I simply needed to be with it and love myself through it. Back into the ocean… Then came the events of last Friday the 16th and everything changed.
Once I was able to see my ego as ally and not enemy and stop hating this very important loving part of myself… Voila! The body odor disappeared. Amazing. The stink was what hating a part of my self smelled like… And it wasn’t pretty. What an amazing gift and acknowledgment from my beautiful miraculous body! Blessed me!