January 3, 2012
Bob and I are working at the Cabaret Metro/Smart Bar in Chicago but inside it looks like a diner with the U-shaped bar. We were both servers (cocktail servers) he had one side of the U and I had the other. They did serve some food but the kitchen staff was off that night. Someone wanted these chicken fingers that were curry flavored and shaped like wings so they look to me. I went to the kitchen to heat them. When it was time to deliver the food, Bob and I got into his car and drove to a former client’s home in Michigan. It was winter and the pool was closed. It had sheet-metal over the top and was drained and also had a pointed sheet metal canopy over it. Off to one side there was a cart that held condiments and flatware etc. She had cases of individually sized ketchups and mustards and I made a comment to Bob “of course she would have all of this…” (because she was rich) but Bob took a little bit of offense at that and defended her (at that moment it felt like she was his mom…) I agreed that it was smart to allow people to have their own jars of condiments and if you can afford to do all of this then why not do it? As we were talking his phone rang it was another order at the bar. We get into his car and drove back. It was snowy/icy in Chicago and we parked in a parking lot across the street from the Metro. Bob pulled in so fast and turned so fast we spun a doughnut and then stopped on a dime in the parking spot. I said “Jesus, you drive like an ‘effing maniac!” He laughed and said “you’re still alive aren’t you?” We get out of the car and he said “see, it’s after midnight, were closed, now you don’t have to make the wings!” He smiled like he had planned it. We walked into Metro’s main entrance. There is a wide staircase leading up to the main foyer. We look up then Bob looks to the left and there is a small shallow ledge/stage with a very narrow doorway which led to a very narrow staircase going up. He hops up onto the ledge and runs up the stairs. It is an entrance that only employees can use and usually only the bar backs use it. I thought, I work here, I can use that door, too. So I hopped up and looked at the door it was very very narrow and the stairs were really steep and narrow and I thought “how did he do that? Well, if he can fit through, I surely can!” So I entered. I had a really hard time passing through the doorway, I had to force myself through then it was a huge struggle to climb the stairs. I kept getting stuck and wedged. I was a little panicked then I thought I just have to go up sideways and I’ll make it but it was almost impossible to turn. I got halfway up and saw the hand railing. “If I can just make it to the railing I can pull myself up the rest of the way.” I made it with a struggle to the railing and began pulling myself up still with great difficulty. Then Bob appeared at the top of the stairs and came down a few steps held out his hand to me I took it and he pulled me up the rest of the way…
Later on in the morning/different dreamscape:
I was all in white. Long flowing white dress and a scarf around my head that flowed out behind me probably 25 yards. It was flying in the air behind me as I was running/flying up a grand staircase. It was only a staircase in space, it was not in a building or a part of anything/structure. It had a very gradual spiral to it. I was running up the stairs quickly and gracefully with Sofia under the train of my headdress. I thought to her “it would be easier for both of us if we did this apart.” And then I snapped the train out like you do to sheets when making the bed and Sofia popped out onto the step and I flew up the stairs even faster. It was a blissful feeling.
Wow. What I got from my night school experience was this. If I follow Bob’s path to ascension I will struggle greatly. And if I try to bring anyone else with me on my path it will be more challenging. Pretty much the same message from different points of view.
We are all on our own individual paths and while we may share certain elements and experiences we will each have our own unique message and lesson in it. Even Bob and I as twin flames; I have been so concerned that our paths feel so different but that is just who we are, we still walk the path together just in our own unique way. Some Divine Complements will be like mirror images of one another, peas in a pod but this is not truth for everyone. We all have a unique experience and a unique expression within the fabric of the whole. Yet we cannot rejoin that cosmic fabric until we come into a full understanding of who we are and embrace our path. We must walk our own path.
Ascension/spiritual awakening is a solitary journey, it is an inward journey that we walk to find ourselves. That’s it. And not who we are as the personality in this reality but the Who We ARE as Spiritual Beings, Universal Creators who have chosen to have this particular experience called “life.”
I cannot tell you who you are but my light may help illuminate your path for you… My experience may spark a deep remembrance within the fiber of your being that leads you to yourself. We are all guides, that is the role of the lightworker; not to be a high and mighty all sugar and cotton candy cloying fluff. We are here to walk our own individual paths together with everyone else. It is an inward journey that first connects us to a full remembrance of the Self and then to the Whole, not the other way around. It is a journey through not around, we must dive into the shadow, embrace our totality then shed attachment to it all and reconnect on the other side with the ALL. Sound familiar?
I intend to release all attachment: To other Beings, process and things. I free you from my need to belong, to be accepted, to be loved. Instead I choose to remember that these things, I already possess. They are a part of me, they are me just as they are you. I bow to your unique expression of the ONE and your grand unfoldment, so beautiful, extra-ordinary. I love you when we don’t agree and when you walk away. I love you when you spew angry words at me and when you strike.
I honor my unique expression of life and hence honor yours.