Every day I aspire to my Divine Self, to embody that which I know lies deep within me, in fact that is me. But until I achieve this I surrender and embrace the perfection of my imperfection. The deep beauty of my longing and the ecstasy of my heart’s ache. It is what I seek, this process, this awakening. Unfolding in each moment, my Divine expression in human form.
There are those of us who do not adhere to the laws of the common
The path we follow meanders alongside what is known, always in touch but never touched.
We are always present but never fully seen, our Light a beacon into the parts of your soul hidden away, forgotten.
We whisper in your ear as you sleep, showing you your hidden splendor, revealing secrets long unspoken.
We tickle your heart with fanciful tales, rekindling the fire of your desire.
You seek us with the giddy abandon of childhood, yet your eyes are not ready to see what only your heart knows.
The bridge that traverses between imagination and reason has fallen away into the ether.
It waits for the rainbow to reunite and reconcile…you.
January 21, 2012
So many of us live our lives tethered to the past. We define ourselves by our experiences, they become who we are. On a broader subconscious level this still applies; to all of our other lives, realities and forms. They all, if not brought forward into the light of consciousness, dictate what we experience as our present.
But when we live from this place, [the past], we live lives devoid of potential. We cannot create from the past we can only re-create. So it is as if the future never comes.
We spin our wheels, deepen the rut. Even when we feel we are living in the moment when we decry war, starvation, violence… are we not calling out for an end to our own suffering? If we truly are in the NOW we would have a non-attached compassion where we could recognize the suffering of another while simultaneously honoring their choice. When we see them as a victim we are identifying with our own victim-hood and seeking to end their experience of suffering so that ours will end as well. Witnessing the suffering of another activates our latent memory, rekindling our own repressed anguish.
What an amazing gift to receive! They are suffering so that we may heal.
Ending their misery will only create more. Until the cycle is healed within ourselves, it will repeat. That is because we can only re-create the past when that is where we dwell. To fully engage in life, we must step into the NOW. This entails healing the wounds of the past, releasing with love and gratitude our karmic bonds and stepping fully into personal responsibility and sovereignty.
From this place we witness a starving child and feel gratitude and compassion and love. Does this mean we do not offer food? Not necessarily. It is how we offer our service that matters. Do we stop to ask if our services are desired? Or do we just assume that they are wanted? To assume is to disempower and disrespect that Being’s path. We know not their intentions, their true needs, unless we ask.
“How may I serve you, Blessed One?”
Their answer may surprise you, it may not. It is from this place of honoring the light, the path and the intention of each individual Being that we enter the NOW. By letting go of our need to fix, to appropriate another’s process, we are able to step fully into our own life.
Look deeply into your own.
Do you wish to end war?
Stop resisting yourself.
Do you wish to end starvation?
Feed your spirit.
Do you wish to end rape and violence?
Love yourself fiercely.
Do you wish to end political and financial domination?
Allow your own abundance and sovereignty to reign within you.
Look deeply into yourself when you find yourself angry at another being or situation or sad at another’s plight.
Heal the one who suffers within you and you shall heal the world.
Ascension is Spiritual Awakening.
It is a part of Life that we are all participating in…in our own unique way. We are all a part of a whole. You can see that at different levels. You are a part of a family. Your family is part of a culture (race, religion, group, cult, whatever) your culture is a part of a country which is a part of the world, which is a part of the Earth which is part of the solar system which is part of the galaxy which is a part of…I think you get the idea. This is the role that our personality plays in this world. On a spiritual level we are also a part of something greater, which is a part of something greater and so on and so on.
The onmi-verse is infinite as far as anyone can tell. And on that note I must make a point that seems to get overlooked quite a bit in the community of “ascensionists.”
Everything I write in my blogs is my personal experience. It is “my ascension.” It may or may not resonate with you, that is OK. I am a guide and my particular role in all of this is to share my experience in an effort to support you in your own process of awakening, not to tell you what your process is.
So. You can view this ascension business with an analogy. We are all in a symphony together playing Mozart. I play violin, you play flute, someone else plays french horn…We all have individual and unique roles that combine to create the whole. Take one away and it just doesn’t sound right. Now, within the symphony, you may not like the tuba. It may be the most annoying sound in the world to you and the tenor saxophone literally hurts you deeply. Does that mean they should be cut out of the symphony? Perhaps many others love them both and despise your flute…Should you be banished? How would the symphony sound if you were?
Such is true with Life. Everyone has their own individual role to play.
Someone’s role may hurt us, annoy us, anger us or inspire us…Or one individual may do all of those things over time or at the same time. How we handle it speaks to our vibration and level of awareness and the lessons we need to learn. My lessons will be different from yours, however they may have a similar flavor.
One of the primary lessons we have here in 3D Earth School is that of victim-hood. We all share in this lesson through we may be studying in different parts of the book. It is impossible for us to know where anyone else is on their path we can only know that they are [on the path], we all are. Compassion arises when we can identify with a lesson that someone else is in the midst of. We can make a choice to respond with judgement or with compassion and understanding. We can get annoyed that everyone else isn’t where we are (why isn’t everyone as evolved as me? smiles) or we can embrace and honor their process and offer our Light to support.
There are as many roles in ascension as there are Beings on the planet. No two are exactly the same, no two will feel exactly the same, work exactly the same, vibrate exactly the same…yet they all fit exactly together into the whole. Each role is indispensable and irreplaceable and the whole would be diminished without it. I must add that I am including ALL BEINGS in this—yes, that means the murderers, the rapists, the bankers, the government, monstanto etc etc. Yes…I have included the “evil” darkside for without it there is no Life. “Evil” spelled backward is “Live.”
Bring the need to judge everything as “good or bad”, “light or dark” into your heart of stillness. Ask yourself “whom does this serve?” Now allow the need for some external or internal thing (person, trait, process, law, whatever) to change in order for everything to be OK, to come into your heart of stillness. Bring it right to this, the Heart of your Being and ask “how is everything already perfect?”
And know, that it is.
I surrender to the beauty and wonder of the collective,
Our Light, Our Darkness…it all swirls together, a fierce infinite gray
beckoning us into the stillness and truth of the moment.
Holding it all in my heart, I am
Mother…Father…Child
The Earth…the Sun…the Stars
A giant pulsing heart that animates this reality and connects us to the All.
Dive into the portal of infinity
surrendering…releasing…merging
until all you feel, all you know
is the beating heart of love
and
you cannot discern where God ends and you begin.
I will meet you there.
January 3, 2012
My dream:
Bob and I are working at the Cabaret Metro/Smart Bar in Chicago but inside it looks like a diner with the U-shaped bar. We were both servers (cocktail servers) he had one side of the U and I had the other. They did serve some food but the kitchen staff was off that night. Someone wanted these chicken fingers that were curry flavored and shaped like wings so they look to me. I went to the kitchen to heat them. When it was time to deliver the food, Bob and I got into his car and drove to a former client’s home in Michigan. It was winter and the pool was closed. It had sheet-metal over the top and was drained and also had a pointed sheet metal canopy over it. Off to one side there was a cart that held condiments and flatware etc. She had cases of individually sized ketchups and mustards and I made a comment to Bob “of course she would have all of this…” (because she was rich) but Bob took a little bit of offense at that and defended her (at that moment it felt like she was his mom…) I agreed that it was smart to allow people to have their own jars of condiments and if you can afford to do all of this then why not do it? As we were talking his phone rang it was another order at the bar. We get into his car and drove back. It was snowy/icy in Chicago and we parked in a parking lot across the street from the Metro. Bob pulled in so fast and turned so fast we spun a doughnut and then stopped on a dime in the parking spot. I said “Jesus, you drive like an ‘effing maniac!” He laughed and said “you’re still alive aren’t you?” We get out of the car and he said “see, it’s after midnight, were closed, now you don’t have to make the wings!” He smiled like he had planned it. We walked into Metro’s main entrance. There is a wide staircase leading up to the main foyer. We look up then Bob looks to the left and there is a small shallow ledge/stage with a very narrow doorway which led to a very narrow staircase going up. He hops up onto the ledge and runs up the stairs. It is an entrance that only employees can use and usually only the bar backs use it. I thought, I work here, I can use that door, too. So I hopped up and looked at the door it was very very narrow and the stairs were really steep and narrow and I thought “how did he do that? Well, if he can fit through, I surely can!” So I entered. I had a really hard time passing through the doorway, I had to force myself through then it was a huge struggle to climb the stairs. I kept getting stuck and wedged. I was a little panicked then I thought I just have to go up sideways and I’ll make it but it was almost impossible to turn. I got halfway up and saw the hand railing. “If I can just make it to the railing I can pull myself up the rest of the way.” I made it with a struggle to the railing and began pulling myself up still with great difficulty. Then Bob appeared at the top of the stairs and came down a few steps held out his hand to me I took it and he pulled me up the rest of the way…
Later on in the morning/different dreamscape:
I was all in white. Long flowing white dress and a scarf around my head that flowed out behind me probably 25 yards. It was flying in the air behind me as I was running/flying up a grand staircase. It was only a staircase in space, it was not in a building or a part of anything/structure. It had a very gradual spiral to it. I was running up the stairs quickly and gracefully with Sofia under the train of my headdress. I thought to her “it would be easier for both of us if we did this apart.” And then I snapped the train out like you do to sheets when making the bed and Sofia popped out onto the step and I flew up the stairs even faster. It was a blissful feeling.
Wow. What I got from my night school experience was this. If I follow Bob’s path to ascension I will struggle greatly. And if I try to bring anyone else with me on my path it will be more challenging. Pretty much the same message from different points of view.
We are all on our own individual paths and while we may share certain elements and experiences we will each have our own unique message and lesson in it. Even Bob and I as twin flames; I have been so concerned that our paths feel so different but that is just who we are, we still walk the path together just in our own unique way. Some Divine Complements will be like mirror images of one another, peas in a pod but this is not truth for everyone. We all have a unique experience and a unique expression within the fabric of the whole. Yet we cannot rejoin that cosmic fabric until we come into a full understanding of who we are and embrace our path. We must walk our own path.
Ascension/spiritual awakening is a solitary journey, it is an inward journey that we walk to find ourselves. That’s it. And not who we are as the personality in this reality but the Who We ARE as Spiritual Beings, Universal Creators who have chosen to have this particular experience called “life.”
I cannot tell you who you are but my light may help illuminate your path for you… My experience may spark a deep remembrance within the fiber of your being that leads you to yourself. We are all guides, that is the role of the lightworker; not to be a high and mighty all sugar and cotton candy cloying fluff. We are here to walk our own individual paths together with everyone else. It is an inward journey that first connects us to a full remembrance of the Self and then to the Whole, not the other way around. It is a journey through not around, we must dive into the shadow, embrace our totality then shed attachment to it all and reconnect on the other side with the ALL. Sound familiar?
I intend to release all attachment: To other Beings, process and things. I free you from my need to belong, to be accepted, to be loved. Instead I choose to remember that these things, I already possess. They are a part of me, they are me just as they are you. I bow to your unique expression of the ONE and your grand unfoldment, so beautiful, extra-ordinary. I love you when we don’t agree and when you walk away. I love you when you spew angry words at me and when you strike.
I honor my unique expression of life and hence honor yours.
There’s a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It’s enough for this restless warrior just to be with you
And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It’s enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it’s laid to rest
It’s enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
There’s a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours
~Tim Rice & Elton John
I watched The Lion King with my family the other night, it is the first time that both Sofia and I have seen it. When the theme song rolled at the end, I wept. It touched my heart so deeply I had to look up the lyrics. I now firmly believe that Tim Rice and Elton John were conduits to the Divine when writing this song.
Thank you to all of the artists and light beings out there that create such beauty and inspiration…there are so many ways to open a heart, to touch the soul…the gift is in being open to receiving.
Open your beloved heart so the Great Mystery can wash though!
You never know how the energies will come through, what will trigger a profound remembrance, allow a deep reconnection to your Divine Truth.
Your Infinite Heart Podcast
